if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
