Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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