Umm I'm too high to move.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
