My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize