so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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