Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize