Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
