I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
