i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
