From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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