just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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