Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize