So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
