the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
