i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
