I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
