I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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