If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize