I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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