It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
