Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
