you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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