he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need a beard to bite.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
