I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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