Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
