i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize