forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
