I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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