At least make sure they are 18
Why
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
