I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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