dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
