he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
