I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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