he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
