fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
