Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
