sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
