Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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