You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
