I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize