My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
