If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
