the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
