I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize