is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
