yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
im on a boat
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