I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
