I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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