I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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