just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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