I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
