I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
