I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
