don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
wow bdsm is so cute
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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