I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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