True but thats because hes a fetus.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
