She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
