Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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