So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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