I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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