You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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