lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize