you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize