first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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