She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
